A call to pray
Mark 9:23
"what do you mean, 'if I can'?" Jesus asked. "anything is possible if you believe"
I remember when Michael was in the PICU, it was just days after his accident, a couple came to visit us. They wanted to pray over Michael, lay hands on him and pray for God to heal him. The wife asked if she could put her hand on Michaels head, I refused. When they got Michael to the hospital they had to rush him into an emergency, life-saving, surgery. They removed the entire front part of his skull, from right above the eye brows to the top of his head, from temple to temple (ish). We were told NO PRESSURE of his head. I was completely terrified for anyone to even touch his face, let alone his forehead. What if they slipped and their hand caused pressure on his brain.....I just couldn't let her do it. She said something to me that will never get out of my head. At least it is what I heard and how I took it, She said something to the effect that faith and doubt don't mix. (keeping in mind, if she is reading this, that may not have been what you said....it may just be what I heard. My brain was very mushy in those days, haha)
I wish then, that I had more faith.
I have always felt that God spoke to me in that hospital room, which I have shared many times. He is going to heal Michael. Completely. But throughout the past year and a half my faith has had so much doubt in it.
I think that maybe I am one of those people that creates false hope to just me get through this storm, or that I misheard God. I don't want to be made a fool. To believe something so bizarre, to keep shouting that my son will be healed.....and shouting until he dies in the state he is in. Or once he dies to say "thats okay because God really just wanted to heal him in heaven". I see other people with their loved ones with severe TBI that are not being healed, they are probably looking at me like a noob, "everyone who starts this journey thinks their kid will come back to them....boy are they going to be surprised"
These are all thoughts that have been sprinting in and out of my head for the past 2.5 years. At the end of the day, I get up, knock the dirt off my knees and say "nope God told me that Michael will be healed" but deep in my heart, those have just been words....not true belief.
So the other day I was feeling kinda bummed. I was bored. I opened my bible, turned pages back and forth, read a little here and there, but I wasn't reading anything that meant anything to me, nothing "spoke" to me. I was about to put my bible down and I read the parable of the persistent widow. This caught my attention because a few nights before I was in Michaels room, tucking him in for the night. I prayed with him, for complete healing, we went into some crazy details in this prayer. When I was done, Michael was smiling so big. I told him then, that even though he can't talk right now, he can still pray to God. Then I gave him an example. I told him that when he REALLY wanted something and would ask me to get it for him, to more he bothered me about it the more I wanted to give it to him. I told him that we needed to pester God about our request, keep asking and asking and asking, maybe he will give it to us to shut us up. HAHA. Well, that is basically the parable of the persistent wife. So that really encouraged me. I kept reading, flipping through Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. When I was in Matthew I got this verse to boost my spirit.
Matthew 15:31
"The crowd was amazed! Those who hadn't been able to speak were talking, the crippled were made well, the lame were walking and the blind could see again! And they praised the God of Israel"
Ummmmm, yes please, all of thee above!!!!!
Then Mark 9:23
"what do you mean 'if I can'?" Jesus asked. "Anything is possible if you believe."
John 16:22-24
"So you have sorrow now, but I will see you again; then you will rejoice, and no one can rob you of that joy. At that time you won't need to ask me for anything. I tell you the truth, you will ask the Father directly, and he will grant your request, because you use my name. You haven't done this before. Ask, using my name and you will receive, and you will have abundant joy."
So as today is the last day of TBI awarenss month, I ask for a call to pray. Help me be persistent. Ask in Jesus name. Claim it. Be specific. Believe. I decided to write this is a blog because I want it documented, so we can reshare it, so we can know when we truly started this call to pray. I am asking far more than for you to just pray for Michael, I am asking for you to intercede for him. I am asking that you take this on as a commitment. Be persistent. Lets bug God. Let's watch him work like we have never seen before. I am letting go of all of my doubt. We are moving forward today with nothing but faith. I don't care what people think. I am not using a made up hope to make me feel better. I am trusting that God is going to do what He promised. And I am going to do what I promised.
I am praying for complete healing. Something miraculous. Not because I want my son back but because I want this horrible thing that happened to our family be a testimony to what God can do. I want Michaels healing to be NO DOUBT a God thing...not a doctor thing....not a slow process healing, because that is how Brain injury works. I am asking for unexplained healing. A healing that can ONLY happen by God. I am praying for his voice back, his ability to swallow back, his coordination back, his movement back, his body control back. I don't just want his mind back, I want him to get up and walk. Those people Jesus healed in Matthew, they didn't need years of physical therapy, they GOT UP AND WALKED! That is what I am praying for.
You may pray with me, you may doubt, but when we look back on this.....God will use this to reach people, to grow their faith in Him!
So please pray. Pray without ceasing!
He has come so far, but he is going to much further!
"what do you mean, 'if I can'?" Jesus asked. "anything is possible if you believe"
I remember when Michael was in the PICU, it was just days after his accident, a couple came to visit us. They wanted to pray over Michael, lay hands on him and pray for God to heal him. The wife asked if she could put her hand on Michaels head, I refused. When they got Michael to the hospital they had to rush him into an emergency, life-saving, surgery. They removed the entire front part of his skull, from right above the eye brows to the top of his head, from temple to temple (ish). We were told NO PRESSURE of his head. I was completely terrified for anyone to even touch his face, let alone his forehead. What if they slipped and their hand caused pressure on his brain.....I just couldn't let her do it. She said something to me that will never get out of my head. At least it is what I heard and how I took it, She said something to the effect that faith and doubt don't mix. (keeping in mind, if she is reading this, that may not have been what you said....it may just be what I heard. My brain was very mushy in those days, haha)
I wish then, that I had more faith.
I have always felt that God spoke to me in that hospital room, which I have shared many times. He is going to heal Michael. Completely. But throughout the past year and a half my faith has had so much doubt in it.
I think that maybe I am one of those people that creates false hope to just me get through this storm, or that I misheard God. I don't want to be made a fool. To believe something so bizarre, to keep shouting that my son will be healed.....and shouting until he dies in the state he is in. Or once he dies to say "thats okay because God really just wanted to heal him in heaven". I see other people with their loved ones with severe TBI that are not being healed, they are probably looking at me like a noob, "everyone who starts this journey thinks their kid will come back to them....boy are they going to be surprised"
These are all thoughts that have been sprinting in and out of my head for the past 2.5 years. At the end of the day, I get up, knock the dirt off my knees and say "nope God told me that Michael will be healed" but deep in my heart, those have just been words....not true belief.
So the other day I was feeling kinda bummed. I was bored. I opened my bible, turned pages back and forth, read a little here and there, but I wasn't reading anything that meant anything to me, nothing "spoke" to me. I was about to put my bible down and I read the parable of the persistent widow. This caught my attention because a few nights before I was in Michaels room, tucking him in for the night. I prayed with him, for complete healing, we went into some crazy details in this prayer. When I was done, Michael was smiling so big. I told him then, that even though he can't talk right now, he can still pray to God. Then I gave him an example. I told him that when he REALLY wanted something and would ask me to get it for him, to more he bothered me about it the more I wanted to give it to him. I told him that we needed to pester God about our request, keep asking and asking and asking, maybe he will give it to us to shut us up. HAHA. Well, that is basically the parable of the persistent wife. So that really encouraged me. I kept reading, flipping through Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. When I was in Matthew I got this verse to boost my spirit.
Matthew 15:31
"The crowd was amazed! Those who hadn't been able to speak were talking, the crippled were made well, the lame were walking and the blind could see again! And they praised the God of Israel"
Ummmmm, yes please, all of thee above!!!!!
Then Mark 9:23
"what do you mean 'if I can'?" Jesus asked. "Anything is possible if you believe."
John 16:22-24
"So you have sorrow now, but I will see you again; then you will rejoice, and no one can rob you of that joy. At that time you won't need to ask me for anything. I tell you the truth, you will ask the Father directly, and he will grant your request, because you use my name. You haven't done this before. Ask, using my name and you will receive, and you will have abundant joy."
So as today is the last day of TBI awarenss month, I ask for a call to pray. Help me be persistent. Ask in Jesus name. Claim it. Be specific. Believe. I decided to write this is a blog because I want it documented, so we can reshare it, so we can know when we truly started this call to pray. I am asking far more than for you to just pray for Michael, I am asking for you to intercede for him. I am asking that you take this on as a commitment. Be persistent. Lets bug God. Let's watch him work like we have never seen before. I am letting go of all of my doubt. We are moving forward today with nothing but faith. I don't care what people think. I am not using a made up hope to make me feel better. I am trusting that God is going to do what He promised. And I am going to do what I promised.
I am praying for complete healing. Something miraculous. Not because I want my son back but because I want this horrible thing that happened to our family be a testimony to what God can do. I want Michaels healing to be NO DOUBT a God thing...not a doctor thing....not a slow process healing, because that is how Brain injury works. I am asking for unexplained healing. A healing that can ONLY happen by God. I am praying for his voice back, his ability to swallow back, his coordination back, his movement back, his body control back. I don't just want his mind back, I want him to get up and walk. Those people Jesus healed in Matthew, they didn't need years of physical therapy, they GOT UP AND WALKED! That is what I am praying for.
You may pray with me, you may doubt, but when we look back on this.....God will use this to reach people, to grow their faith in Him!
So please pray. Pray without ceasing!
He has come so far, but he is going to much further!
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