One year later

People always say "That was the BEST day of my LIFE" but in reality.....was it really? Because there can be a number of best day evers, if just depends on what the event or moment is and how it compares to other days and events. This day, 11 years ago, was my very first BEST DAY EVER! At that moment, nothing could have trumped it. And still to this day, even though I have other best day ever's....this one is so special to me. This is not just the day Michael was born, but it began a lifetime of "firsts" for me. He was my first love, my first child, my first of everything. It was the day that I started growing in ways I didn't even realize existed. I became a Mom for the first time. I gained a love that, unless you are a Mom, I can't even begin to explain it to you. I gained a fear that is like no other. Not just a fear of my child getting hurt or a fear of me not being a good Mom....but even from day one, I already feared him growing up. I feared him moving away and leaving me. I feared not having him anymore.
During this part of my life things were difficult. I was married to Michael Dad, he was in the military and got sent to Korea for a year 2 weeks before Michael was born. He missed the entire first year. With that being said, me and Michael had the entire first year to bond, just the two of us. (Military life didn't work for our family and after Ty was born we parted ways)

 This kid was my life. Everything in it revolved around him. We were two peas in a pod. He has taught me so much about myself, about life, and about being a parent. I am thankful for him for so many different reasons. He has made me so proud. He has such a personality that is like no other. He is beyond being smart. He actually goes over board....a lot. Tons of random facts that you are sure you never needed to know. He told the stupidest jokes. He tried to make people laugh all the time, mostly we laughed at him for not being funny (just like we did to my Mom) He was my little social butterfly. Talked to everyone. And he was good at holding a conversation...even if there was nothing to talk about. He wanted to try everything...drums, keyboard, violin, didgeridoo (look it up, one day I will get him one) drawing, singing, soccer....however....none of those worked out. HAHA. He should just stick to learning....he is good at that. :-)  He was such a fun little kid....and he was just starting to grow into that awkward preteen...

 but looking at pictures, it looks more like he was starting to blossom into himself. He had style and he knew who he wanted to be. Just growing out of the little kid stage into the stage to grow and start maturing. We are at a stand still right now, that while it seems like it is taking forever....compared to the years of life he will have....this is just a small bit of time set aside for him to recovery. He will be back to the know it all, silly kid that we miss so much.

Happy birthday buddy! I love you so much. I am so happy that you are my son and so lucky for you to call ME mom! I have always been so proud of you, but now you have been able to teach me even more and you are showing me how strong you really are. I just want you to know that I am right here for you. Holding your hand always. No matter how hard it gets or how discouraged you may get I pray that you can feel the love I have for you and that you know 100% that I am your biggest fan and I am here to help you! This is truly just a pause in your life, but it is not over, you have so much living to do and we will get through this! Together! I love you Michael!

Now I must move to another special birthday today! My Sister! Solet me tell you a fun fact. I have 2 sisters and one brother. Josh's birthday is June 30th....next day is Mystys and then exactly one week later is mine. Then Kyms birthday is all the way in Feb....all by itself. Growing up me,josh, and mysty had to share a cake....all of our names squished onto it. We hated it. Kym got her own cake. Her own party. Her own everything....HAHAHAHAHAHA not anymore. I got her back. HAHAHAHAHA. I had Michael on her birthday. Now she actually has to share HER BIRTHDAY! HAHAHAHAHA (she loves it)

Now let me tell you about this girl. We were never really close as kids. But as adults, everything changed. She is the type of sister everyone needs. She is there for me when everyone else is flaky. She is not selfish at all. I mean...she may let things bother her a little too quickly....but selfish...NOPE. She has a heart of gold. She....I really feel....is my biggest fan. She was there for all three of my kids birth. The first two she was my main support. I had no one else. She went with me to my appointments. She cut the umbilical cords. She is amazing. We talk on the phone almost everyday. She vents to me and I vent to her, as sisters should do. Before she made the stupid choice to move half way across the country she was the one person I knew would be there for me. Babysit, go out to dinner, have wine, talk, come to birthday parties, throw me baby showers, be pregnant with me....then she moved to flipping Texas. And even though she is so far she is still here for me when I need her. She helps me, she encourages me, she cries for me, she laughs with me, she gets mad at me, she gets over it and realizes I was right, she is just a very special person. I am very thankful for her and really urge her to move back to Florida :-) I love you Kym!!!!!! Happy Birthday. She even is flying to Florida to see Michael on their birthday this year. I love you!

                                             
 Happy birthday to you both!!!!